Respect and Submit! If I do, I will be a doormat. Have you ever felt that way?
As an independent woman, I never felt I needed a man for approval (even in my younger years, thanks to mom and dad). However, as a young married woman, I did think I could do my thing and he could his and we would always be happy. That is not what the Bible says.
I am happy to say that I am still a self sufficient woman. I have been given an amazing opportunity in a leadership position within my career, but there is no doubt that Tim is the leader of our household, but I definitely do not feel I am a doormat.
Let’s break down these two powerful words that we say in our vows. Here is what they have come to mean to me.
1. Submit
The Bible says in Eph. 5:22 that we, as wives, are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. What does that mean? Well, when I submit to Tim, I should not be looking at Tim’s face, but looking at the face of Jesus. Do you want to give back to God? Do you have a desire to serve him with all of your heart? How you submit to the Lord, is how you submit to your husband.
God has given husbands the awesome responsibility of loving us as Christ loved the church. He is to give of himself and love us unconditionally as Christ did. What an amazing sacrifice commanded by God to my husband. I know what you may be saying, Well, my husband definitely does not do that. I have yet to find any place in the Bible that says, wives submit to your husband
· When he does…….
· If he will…….
· Only when he…….
God says do it unto Him. I am so thankful God does not say to me, I will love and forgive you
· When you do…….
· If you will…….
· Only when you…..
If you think your husband does not love you like Christ loved the church or it is a partnership without a leader, answer the question by Emerson Eggerich in the book Love and Respect. If someone broke into your house tonight, who would take charge to protect your family? I think we all know the answer. I do not know about you, ladies, but that is not a responsibility I desire to have. Now, I am not saying God is calling us to be submissive if it means going against God’s word. If your husband is asking you to commit sinful acts, that is not being submissive under God. But a good willed husband may not do “everything” you think he should do, but he would give his life for you in a heartbeat?
2. Respect
In reading Eph 5:33 God commands husbands to love, but he commands wives to respect. I believe God gave that command to wives because he created men with a genuine need to feel respected. Yes, as women we do need to feel respected, but they need it in a different way. We can hug and kiss our husbands; we can send cards; we can make cookies and shower with them with gifts, but none of that matters if we are not giving them the respect they so desire. As the leader of the house, we need to TELL him that we appreciate and respect (don’t use the word love) his hard work each day (even if you contribute financially). We need to honor his requests and wishes even if we may think it is not important. I can not tell Tim that I love him and hide shopping bags so he does not know now much I spent. Disrespectful!
I can’t laugh at him and say I love you yet continue to leave the door open upstairs after he asked me over and over to keep shut to save electricity. Disrespectful! Being mindful of his request to keep the door closed, even when he is not home, means more to him than a great big hug and kiss.
What I have learned is that respect can look so different for different men. If you want to meet your husband’s deepest need, try every now and then to replace the words, “I love you” with “I Respect You.” ‘What can I do to show you respect?” You may be surprised of the answer.
You may also see a submission in him that you have never seen (not that it should be done for that reason :0) ) and realize that submit and respect does not mean you are a doormat.
Crystal
Great post!
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