MawMaw Breaux - “Hey Hannah how was your day?”
Hannah - “Good”
MawMaw Breaux –“What was good about it?”
Hannah – “Everything”
MawMaw Breaux – “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
Hannah – “Okay. I love you, bye.”
And off to play with her brother as she hands the phone to me or Crystal. Gentlemen how many times have we had this same conversation with our wives? How many times have I answered the questions in the least amount of the English language I could muster…many! Our wives are not looking for the minutest details of our day, although some may desire just that, what our wives are seeking is a connection not a conversation. The conversation is simply the means in which they will connect. So I have three points of advice when it comes to the inevitable “talks” we must have with our wives.
1. Dare – If you dare to invest in this language of love that is spoken by females the dividends will pay off in so many areas of your life…and yes that includes your sex life. No, the sole reason to have conversations with our wives is not for the action we will get later. But the reality is that your wife is more receptive and open when you are speaking (figuratively and literally) her language.
I would venture a guess that 100% of the men I know would die for their wives and would take a good ol’ fashion beat down to step up and defend the honor of their bride. But ask those same men to sit for 15 minutes and have conversation with their wives about their day and they start to contemplate that death and a beat down really isn’t so bad. I got this advice from Dr. Emerson Eggrest in his best selling program “Love & Respect”. If you and your wife designate 15 minutes a day for her to share (and you share back) that will sow the seeds of connection for your wife. Let her know that you are not able to handle all the juicy details that is something she can save for her friends. This 15 minute investment in your wife daily will bind a connection that nothing can tear apart.
2. Share – It has been said that communication is a two way street. And if you desire to do this right you will need to share with your wife things that matter to you which in turn will matter to her. I totally understand the argument “I have lived my day once why would I want to relive it when I get home?” But that is part of this two way street. Most wives do not want to know every detail they just want you to SHARE a part of your life, a part of who you are as a man, and a large part of that is our need to provide for our family. Our wives want to share in that part of our life that makes us man. Don’t forget that your wife has a life too. Whether she is working full time outside or inside the home she desires to share with you her day. Simply ask her “How was your day?” this gives her a sense of importance, a sense that you care about who she is and what she does.
3. Care - The bottom line is gentlemen Christ CARED enough to die for your sins (Oh I know he did not break out the God card…Oh I did!!!). I have said this many times in our Couples Class it is easy to die for our wives when an intruder is coming into our homes, I dare to say what true man would not. But it is very difficult to die of ourselves and DARE to do what is needed for our wives to be the wife God desires her to be. In future post we will discuss the book The Love Languages and in that book Gary Chapman discusses “filling the love tank”. If you are not care enough to share with your wife then that tank will never be full. And if that tank is never full or even close to being full then she will never be fulfilled. But if you CARE enough about the spiritual, emotional, and physical well being of your wife you will share.
God bless you brothers may you DARE to SHARE to show you CARE…and yes I know that this last line is so corny!!!
Very good! This is exactly how women feel....one word answers are like death to a relationship! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHeather F